Rathmines Road Read online

  EDDIE. Booby traps!

  DAIRNE goes to take the tray.

  DAIRNE. Well, I must say… these all look delicious.

  LINDA. Don’t they!

  SANDRA. Thanks…

  RAY. Aren’t you going to sit down, love?

  SANDRA. Of course.

  Yes.

  She doesn’t.

  EDDIE makes a gallant effort to get up whilst holding his glass of wine.

  DAIRNE. I’ll bring something over, shall I, Eddie?

  EDDIE. Yes please!

  RAY. And I’ll top up the wine.

  DAIRNE. Great idea, Ray.

  LINDA. So… I told Suzie I was coming round to see you.

  (To RAY.) Suzie is my sister.

  SANDRA. Oh… did you?

  LINDA. She’s sorry she couldn’t make it.

  Exhausted.

  She is expecting her third!

  SANDRA. Really?

  DAIRNE. Is that a baby?

  LINDA. Of course it’s a baby!

  DAIRNE. Oh… right.

  LINDA. And I think she’s insane. That’s three kids under eight, and she’s over forty. She’ll have to give up work!

  DAIRNE. Wouldn’t that be a bitch!

  LINDA. Meaning?

  DAIRNE. Meaning… I’d love to give up work.

  And do you have children, Dairne?

  DAIRNE. No.

  RAY. Do you…

  Yourself and Eddie?

  EDDIE. We have two.

  LINDA. Molly and Megan.

  EDDIE. I’m surrounded!

  DAIRNE. Well, lucky you, Eddie!

  RAY. And do you teach girls… in your school?

  EDDIE. I do… yes.

  SANDRA exclaims.

  EDDIE keeps going.

  It’s a mixed school.

  Community. Well-rounded.

  LINDA. But Eddie has high ambitions for it, don’t you, Ed.

  EDDIE. Of course! We have a great staff… highly motivated.

  RAY. Excellent.

  DAIRNE. These eggs are lovely, Sandra.

  EDDIE. Aren’t they…

  LINDA. Very unusual.

  DAIRNE. Devilled. Would you like another one, Eddie?

  EDDIE. No, I’m fine, I might just hop up…

  He gets caught in the chair and completely topples, wine and plate flying.

  RAY. Oh crikey!

  They all go to assist except SANDRA.

  Are you all right?

  LINDA. What happened!

  EDDIE. I think it was the chair…

  But I’m fine. Honestly… just…

  DAIRNE. It’s probably not used to that weight.

  RAY. Antique…

  LINDA. I don’t think so!

  Just a stupid crappy chair.

  EDDIE. I’m okay, Linda…

  RAY. Just watch that plate there, Linda…

  LINDA. Oh…

  LINDA steps backwards onto the plate in her heels and twists on her ankle. She lets out a shriek.

  SANDRA. God!

  RAY. It’s all right… not a crisis.

  LINDA. It’s bloody sore. I think I might have twisted it.

  EDDIE. Did you?

  LINDA. I don’t know.

  RAY. Can you check Linda’s foot? See if it’s swollen?

  SANDRA. Of course.

  SANDRA gets down on her knees.

  RAY. I’m really sorry about that, Eddie.

  EDDIE. Not at all. Not at all.

  He limps back over to the couch and sits beside LINDA. SANDRA freezes.

  LINDA. I don’t feel anything!

  Can you see anything?

  SANDRA doesn’t answer.

  For God’s sake, it’s fine. I think it’s fine.

  RAY. No damage.

  LINDA. No.

  RAY. Great.

  EDDIE. Yes.

  SANDRA stands up and goes back to the wall.

  DAIRNE. Well!

  That was exciting!

  No one responds.

  Beat.

  LINDA. So maybe I should see the house?

  I mean we have a babysitter but she likes to get home early.

  EDDIE. Yes she does.

  RAY. Of course.

  Of course.

  Sandra will show you around.

  Won’t you, Sandra?

  SANDRA shakes her head.

  LINDA. You won’t show me around?

  SANDRA. I’m just… I’m not sure…

  RAY. Are you feeling all right?

  EDDIE. Bit of a flu going… half the kids are out the last two days…

  SANDRA. No, I’m fine… no, not fine.

  Yes, not brilliant.

  Would you mind?

  RAY looks at SANDRA, he is totally bemused. SANDRA shakes her head again. Music starts to fill the stage. It is muffled. SANDRA can hear it. It sounds like Nirvana (‘All Apologies’) or the Cranberries (‘Zombie’). It is in her head. The others don’t seem to notice it at all.

  Maybe… actually… yes… would you mind, Ray?

  LINDA. Just a quick look around the rooms so that I can write a description?

  RAY. Yes. Quick trip. No problem. I’ll do it.

  LINDA. You coming, Eddie?

  EDDIE. Yes. Yes. I think I will.

  EDDIE starts knocking the walls like he is some kind of expert.

  RAY. Great.

  Dairne?

  DAIRNE. No.

  RAY. Right… off we go… Kitchen and downstairs first I think.

  They exit.

  SANDRA. Fuck!

  Fuck… fuck… fuck!

  DAIRNE. What is it?

  SANDRA. Jesus.

  The music gets louder. SANDRA sits down and starts to breathe in and out slowly… this is in a practised manner. DAIRNE goes over to her. She puts her hand on her shoulder. SANDRA startles, screams and jumps up.

  DAIRNE. Sorry, Jesus… what’s wrong with you?

  SANDRA. Fuck. Fuck.

  DAIRNE. You said that already!

  The music starts to fade.

  SANDRA. It couldn’t be.

  It can’t be.

  It just can’t be.

  DAIRNE. What can’t be?

  SANDRA. This hasn’t happened to me for years.

  DAIRNE. What hasn’t?

  SANDRA. I used to… I used to think… I used to dream a lot. Dream about them… see the faces… his face and hear the music… a lot. But this is different. Jesus this is different. He’s here… it’s him… I’m sure of it. He’s one of them and he’s in the front room. Mammy’s front room. Daddy’s front room!

  DAIRNE. Who?… Eddie?

  SANDRA exclaims and puts her hand to her mouth.

  What the hell is it?

  SANDRA. What’s her name?

  DAIRNE. Whose name?

  SANDRA. Her name… Linda’s fucking name… her married name… that’s her business card on the table… look at it… look at it will you… what does it say?

  DAIRNE. It says Linda Levins.

  SANDRA. She didn’t change her name?

  DAIRNE. I don’t know…

  SANDRA. She didn’t change her name… but he’s Eddie Dunne, I’m sure of it.

  She quickly draws in her breath.

  Oh God… he’s Eddie Dunne!

  DAIRNE. Who’s Eddie Dunne?

  SANDRA. We’ve got to get him out.

  Get them out of here.

  I don’t think I can hold it together.

  DAIRNE. Why do you need to hold it together?

  SANDRA. You’re right.

  You’re right.

  Why do I need to hold it together?

  He’s here in my house.

  Mammy’s house.

  Jesus.

  I can’t believe it.

  And he doesn’t know me!

  He doesn’t even fucking know me!

  DAIRNE. I’m sorry… I just… I’ve no idea what you’re talking about, Sandra…

  SANDRA. As soon as he came in.

  I felt it. I knew it.


  Oh God… I’m shaking.

  I have the shakes.

  This hasn’t happened in years.

  DAIRNE. Why are you shaking?

  SANDRA. Or maybe it’s you.

  Is it you?

  That’s what I thought when I went out…

  DAIRNE. Out where?

  SANDRA. Into the kitchen.

  You’ve thrown me. With your… with all this!

  Or is it the wine?

  Or the stupid chair?

  DAIRNE. I don’t know…

  …I kind of loved the chair!

  She laughs.

  SANDRA laughs too but it is a manic laughter.

  SANDRA. My heart. My heart…

  It’s racing.

  Feel it.

  She pulls DAIRNE’s hand to her heart.

  Can you feel it?

  DAIRNE. I can.

  It’s pumping!

  SANDRA. Pumping.

  Pumping.

  That’s what happens.

  And I start to shake.

  DAIRNE. Why?

  SANDRA. Trauma… post-traumatic… trauma!

  DAIRNE. From what?

  SANDRA. Oh Christ, David…

  DAIRNE. What?

  LINDA has entered.

  LINDA. David?

  DAIRNE takes her hand away from SANDRA.

  She smiles at LINDA.

  DAIRNE. That was my name.

  Years ago.

  LINDA. Okay.

  Sure.

  She pauses.

  Is everything okay?

  SANDRA doesn’t answer.

  Okay, well, Ray has shown me around the house… and it’s great… it’s obviously in need of a refurb but we can advertise it that way… and I’m sure, given the location and the garden and the fact that you’re not overlooked, I’m sure I can get you a good price.

  SANDRA (quietly).…okay…

  LINDA. So I might just go through these few questions and then Ed and I will…

  EDDIE and RAY return.

  EDDIE. Ed and I will what?

  LINDA. Head off.

  Because I’m not sure that Sandra’s feeling too well.

  SANDRA. I’m not…

  I’m not feeling too well.

  RAY. Oh…?

  EDDIE. That’s a shame.

  SANDRA. So we won’t bother with the questions because I’m not going… I’m not going to sell to you… with you. I’m, I’m awfully sorry but I’d like you to go. I think you should go, Linda, if you don’t mind because… because I’m just not feeling too well.

  RAY. What?

  SANDRA. Please please I’d really just like you to go… all to go!

  LINDA. Jesus.

  EDDIE. Okay not to worry. Selling the old place can be a bit stressful… we understand…

  He moves towards SANDRA.

  SANDRA. No! No! Don’t come near me… don’t…

  She darts into the kitchen.

  They all stand there, speechless.

  Scene Three

  SANDRA returns. She stands and looks at the others for a beat… suddenly we spring backwards, repeating the following sequence exactly as played before.

  LINDA. So I might just go through these few questions and then Ed and I will…

  EDDIE. Ed and I will what?

  LINDA. Head off.

  Because I’m not sure that Sandra’s feeling too well.

  SANDRA. I’m not…

  I’m not feeling too well.

  RAY. Oh…?

  EDDIE. That’s a shame.

  SANDRA. Is your name Eddie Dunne?

  EDDIE. What?

  She almost shrieks it.

  SANDRA. Eddie Dunne?

  EDDIE. Eh… yes!

  Again she almost shrieks.

  There is a slightly shocked pause.

  DAIRNE. I wonder if we know each other?

  LINDA. I sincerely doubt it.

  SANDRA. Oh God!

  DAIRNE. Are you from around here, Eddie?

  EDDIE. No.

  RAY. Is everything all right, Sandra?

  EDDIE (uneasy). And are you, Dairne?

  LINDA. Yes I think Dairne’s from just up the road.

  David Burke, isn’t it?

  I remember now.

  You were in Suzie’s class too, now it all makes sense.

  EDDIE. Well, I’m glad it makes sense to someone. SANDRA (quietly). Eddie Dunne…

  Eddie Dunne…

  LINDA. You’ve had a sex change!

  EDDIE. What?

  LINDA. He’s had a sex change!

  RAY. What?

  DAIRNE. No one calls it a sex change any more.

  LINDA. It’s all the rage.

  RAY. What are we talking about?

  LINDA. Trans.

  DAIRNE. What did you say?

  SANDRA (quietly). You were there, Eddie Dunne.

  You were there all along.

  RAY. Sandra?

  SANDRA. He was there all along.

  RAY. Who was?

  SANDRA. He was.

  Eddie Dunne.

  EDDIE. What?

  RAY. What on earth is going on?

  SANDRA. And you don’t even know me?

  You don’t even know me, Eddie Dunne.

  EDDIE. This is getting a little uncomfortable.

  LINDA. Yes, I agree.

  Very uncomfortable. So I’ll tell you what. We’re going to leave, Ray. I think she’s obviously… your wife… Sandra, she’s obviously, you’re obviously suffering from something, Sandra Byrne.

  SANDRA. Look at me.

  Look at me, you bastard.

  EDDIE. Me?

  SANDRA. Yes you. You bastard.

  RAY. Sandra?

  SANDRA. Rathmines Road… Rathmines Road.

  It was you, wasn’t it?

  EDDIE. I’ve no idea?

  LINDA. What is this…?

  Eddie?

  The music floods the stage again now. It is rhythmic. Lights start to flash.

  SANDRA. We were at a club.

  The Concorde.

  And you were there.

  I know it was you.

  Eddie and Donal and Jay.

  LINDA. How do you know Donal?

  EDDIE. Shut up, Linda!

  RAY. Who’s Donal?

  SANDRA. I’m sure.

  I’m so horribly fucking sure.

  Eddie and Donal and Jay.

  RAY. Sandra? What’s wrong? What’s going on with you?

  Please, love, you’re not making any sense.

  SANDRA. I feel sick.

  EDDIE. She feels sick.

  LINDA. She’s off her bloody trolley… always was… and him! I remember the pair of them now in school… weirdos… I think they were even screwing.

  RAY. What?

  LINDA. Before he was gay.

  Or before he was trans.

  God knows.

  Eddie, let’s get out of here.

  SANDRA. No.

  LINDA. We’ve had enough of this!

  SANDRA. He’s not going.

  He’s got to hear.

  Got to hear this.

  LINDA. Hear what?

  SANDRA. It was the last fling before the exams.

  And you were there.

  Weren’t you, Eddie Dunne. You know you were.

  But you weren’t part of the usual crowd.

  Different hair. Better shirts.

  And we were dancing.

  Back at the house.

  And there was vodka.

  E’s.

  The usual.

  And Donal.

  LINDA. What is it with Donal?

  SANDRA. I don’t know what I was doing.

  To get so sexed, sexual while still dancing… still dancing with him on the floor.

  But I wanted him.

  And I think about that now.

  I think about it all the time.

  And wonder…

  Was that the plan all along?

  Was that how you did it…?

>   Or were you just watching?

  Watching?

  And it was me that made you decide…?

  Think you could?

  Think you could?

  There is a very loud sound of a thud.

  SANDRA grabs her head.

  My head.

  My head.

  It hit the wall.

  Do you remember, Eddie Dunne?

  When you threw me on the floor.

  LINDA. What is she saying?

  RAY. Sandra?

  SANDRA. Because all three of you came into the room.

  All three of you.

  And I didn’t know.

  I didn’t see.

  The whole thing was like a dream.

  When he held me down.

  When Donal held me down for you.

  LINDA. This is monstrous…!

  SANDRA. First Jay.

  Wasn’t it?

  But he couldn’t do it. He was too drunk.

  And I could see him. Gagging, tugging. His hand on my mouth so I couldn’t scream.

  Then his fist. His hands. Your hands. On my face and on my… all over me…

  LINDA. Stop this shit.

  She needs to stop this shit.

  SANDRA. Everywhere! You were everywhere. Pulling my hair.

  And mauling.

  Till you pushed me off the bed and on to the floor.

  And I thought it was over.

  And I nearly cried because it was over.

  But then you.

  You gently turned me.

  And I wanted to cry.

  Please Please No.

  No, Eddie Dunne.

  You don’t want to do this.

  You don’t want to do this.

  To me.

  But you did.

  And you smacked me into the wall.

  So fast.

  Not gentle now.

  You broke my nose.

  Broke my nose on the wall.

  As you beat into me.

  And still I couldn’t scream.

  I was lost.

  In my throat.

  In that moment.

  And I know you remember.

  I saw your face.

  You looked me in the eye.

  When you were finished.

  When you took a swig of your beer.

  And went back to the party.

  And I know that you can see it now too.

  You remember me.

  LINDA. Like hell he does.

  EDDIE. I wasn’t…

  I was never.

  LINDA. Tell her, Eddie!

  EDDIE. I was never on Rathmines Road.

  SANDRA. You’re lying.

  He’s lying, Ray.

  RAY turns and punches EDDIE in the face.

  It is a shock to everyone, including RAY.

  LINDA. Jesus Christ!

  RAY. Jesus Christ!

  EDDIE. It wasn’t me!

  I’m telling you…

  I’ve never.

  I’ve never met her.

  Never met this woman.

  Never met you.

  This is lunacy…

  LINDA. It’s lunacy all right.

  And we’re suing!

  I’m suing!